more overnight

very VERY peaceful and quiet again overnight...

was reading about apples... pink lady, fuji and gala... pink lady's are hard to find... apples seem expensive... I also like jonagold... anyway, fuji's have been on sale... they are pretty good...

such a mellow time... the ides of march 2009... hard to believe... the last 40 years have flown by... makes me think life has been about 40 years... younger than that doesn't count... I mean when we are young we don't know what is going on really... don't really know what reality really is... but, even when we do know reality, day to day living and working is "different"... we really are too busy to think and reflect...

it almost seems like this is REALLY the first time in my life to really think... that isn't quite fair... but it seems that way...

reminds me of a quote... "When you see everything, you see nothing."

which means to me that if you have too much knowledge or too much information, you really have no knowledge or no information... because you are past or beyond or outside of "normal" perception... and then we don't see things "normally" and normal is real...

I was thinking I could turn that around... "When you see nothing, you see everything."

which is kind of how I feel now... just relaxing into nothingness makes you see and feel everything... a fullness and richness of just being in and enjoying the moment...

no agenda, no plan, no anxiety...

I think it is the luxury of CONTROL... absolute control over everything... not in a power sense... but in a flexibility sense...

it is nice to just look around and see... to absorb... but it is the lack of effort or need for effort that is so nice... no worry or concern...

no desire yet every possibility...

I think that is the key... to have such choice AND control WITHOUT necessity or urgency...